What is low self-esteem and how does it effect your confidence?

The nuclear family, historically our Mother, our father, and our siblings (if there are any prior to us coming into this world) are our first experience of the world.  If we are lucky we can have an extended family, like grandmother, grandfather, aunties, uncles and so on.  It is usually later we are introduced to the outer world when we may go to nurse, primary school, secondary school, University and social activities.  All these aspects of our lives, whether they are available to us or not, will effect the building blocks of our lives.

Self-esteem is how you value yourself; low self-esteem can stop you moving forward and hinder the developmental stages of life.  Somebody experiencing low-self esteem may have developed over a long period of time negative core-beliefs that are more subjective and not necessarily based on objective where irrational beliefs may have become deeply rooted and manifested in very low self-esteem and even low mood or depression.  Low self esteem can effect confidence because of the way a person views themselves.

As above, the way you view yourself maybe because of past negative experiences, or rooted in past negative relationships or so many things. If you view yourself in a negative way, then I would like to challenge you, and ask you what you actually like about yourself right now. When we focus on what we do not like, or what somebody else has said they did, or do, not like…a negative seed can grow and develop with your own nurturing. However, this process can be reversed. People are not born with low self-esteem which suggests low self-esteem is learned, and anything learned, can be unlearned, and thus reversed.   

Seeing yourself objectively as well as subjectively can feel a bit of a mish mash, like this picture, with only part of the blue sky showing, where you insight is hampered.

Dense sample


Exploration with a qualified counsellor can help to identify your irrational negative thoughts and thus uncover the deeply root negative core beliefs; (either subject and objective), which will help for you to see yourself more objectively and thus clearer.  With gentle challenging in a professional therapeutic relationship you will start to see a bigger and clearer picture of yourself in a positive way, and then you will be able to nurture and nourish this more positive perception of yourself, to help yourself recover and replace and strengthen the building blocks of your life, to become more strengthened and self focussed. 

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